Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32
Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32
“So the farmer’s kid comes running back home from Maisy’s Whore House, waving the duck his dad had given him to pay for his shot. His father asks him, ‘So, how’d you get on with Maisy, son?’“And the boy starts shaking the duck by the neck and shouting, ‘I got a fuck for a duck, a Duck for a Fuck, ten bucks for ducking a fuck, AND I’VE STILL GOT THE FUCKIN’ DUCK!’”Everyone burst out laughing, some bending double and holding their sides. Jimmie, the storyteller, sat there smiling and laughing along with everyone else, although not as hard.“Fuck, Jimmie! No one tells a joke as good as you do! Where the hell do you get them all?”Jimmie’s eyes crinkles, and a sardonic smile spreads across his face. Although he was originally Welch, he uses a fake, “Lucky Charms” Irish accent to say, “Well, y’know, I leave a wee bowl o’ milk outside me back door at night, and the liddle people creep up and leave jokes for me in exchange. They love me, don’tcha know?”Everyone smiles and chuckles. Jimmie was always the life of the party, and a good egg.As well as a short one. Barely 5’ 6”, he has unruly, non-descript, brown hair, brown eyes, a narrow face, bad teeth, an unkempt beard, and a too-big nose. He almost looks like a leprechaun.When the Friday night drinking buddies that call themselves “the Group” starts pairing up to head off to supper, their bahis şirketleri bouncing beds, or out clubbing, they all stop by to say good night to Jimmie. A number of the girls ruffle his hair or pat his shoulder. One of them, Lois, even kisses him on the top of his head.Jimmie has a smile, a chuckle, and a quip for every one of them, but when they have all left, the smile slowly vanishes, and the look that was left was pain and loneliness.He was everybody’s Fool, but nothing more, and it hurt.~~~~~It was Limerick night for the Group, and, as usual, Jimmie was beating all comers. Mark had just delivered a well-received limerick about a Parson named Jasper, and it was Jimmie’s turn again.He was lolling back in his chair, one short leg up, and a foot on the side of the next seat, and said, “Good one, Markie. Lemme see…” “There once were two bitches of Birmingham,And this is the story concerning ‘em,They lifted the frock,And diddled the cock,Of the Bishop as he was confirming ‘em!Now, the Bishop was nobody’s fool,He’s been to a large, public school,So he took down his britches,And buggered those bitches,With a twelve-inch Episcopal tool!But that didn’t bother those two,They said, as the Bishop withdrew,‘The Vicar is quicker,And thicker, and slicker,And longer and stronger than you!’” Everybody burst out in both laughter and bahis firmaları applause … except Mark, who, among other things, hated being called “Markie”. It never occurred to Mark that Jimmie didn’t appreciate Mark’s constant mocking of his size or looks. Mark took that as a natural right.So he complains, “You didn’t make that up – that’s an old standard!”Jimmie looks at Mark, rolls his head to one side and says, “Sure it is – but then, no one said they had to be original, did they? Just funny.“But I’ll tell you what, Markie, lad…let’s go toe-to-toe, original stuff only, right? Loser buys the winner a beer. Fair enough?”Mark looks unhappy. He knows from past experience that Jimmie will mop the floor with him – and look like a magnanimous winner compared to Mark’s sore loser. But his ego won’t let him back down.“Okay, you’re on. And I’ll go first.”“As you wish, me old son, as you wish!”Mark licks his lips, thinks for a few moments, then smiles and says, “Jimmie is a little runtAnd talking is his favorite stuntHe likes to talkCan’t walk the walkAnd never in a woman’s cunt!” There is scattered applause, but many frowns as well, especially among the ladies present.Jimmie grabs his side as if wounded. “You’ve hulled me, Markie lad, between wind and water. I’m wounded, sure. But the truth is I like seeing and chatting with the ladies. kaçak bahis siteleri I’m not sure I’d like walking around inside the little darlings – or that they’d want me to! Though at least I’d wipe me feet…” He gives Mark a hard look.There were giggles from the crowd.“So, now it falls to me to see if I can better your magnificent effort, me old china. Lemme see…” He glances at one of the women that Mark has been trying, unsuccessfully, to bed, then declaims… “Markie doth the ladies pleaseHe loves to lick above their kneesHe’s set his sightsOn luscious nightsBestride our lovely Eloise!” This time there is almost universal applause and laughter – except from Mark. Mark smiles – on the outside – and claps half-heartedly. Inside he’s seething…~~~~~Every April Fool’s day, the Group had a contest to see who can either do, or inspire, the most foolish thing. And as in other, similar events involving humor of some sort, Jimmie typically won.Perhaps the most memorable of his April Fool jokes was when he showed up at the bar, naked save for some skin-toned briefs and a bright red bathing cap, wearing a clear trash bag, slightly rolled up at the bottom.After everyone finished guffawing, they asked him, “So, what the hell are you supposed to be, Jimmie?”Jimmie paused to let the tension build, then said, “I’m Markie!”There was a puzzled silence as everyone looked at each other, then back at Jimmie. And again, with impeccable timing, Jimmie waited for the right moment, then added, “The biggest prick in the Group!”And everyone fell down laughing…except for Mark.
Ben Esra telefonda seni bosaltmami ister misin?
Telefon Numaram: 00237 8000 92 32